turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
