Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
