Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
