I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
