I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
