If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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