I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
