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She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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