Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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