Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
