I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
