just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
