You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
