Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
