It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize