im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
