she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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