Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
