I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
