I am spending my child support on dildos
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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