redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
