maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
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not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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