The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
