Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
