You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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