I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
