he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize