I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
