careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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