if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
