The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
