I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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