Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
