gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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