great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
