I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
