Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
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I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
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I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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