Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
