I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
bring money and cleavage
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
