My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
did i walk over a car last night?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
