remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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