Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
