so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
