Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
