I wannas sexs uuuuu
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
