i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
