I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
