im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
