You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
