What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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