Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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