We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
