I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
