how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize