The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
