he shaved USA in his pubs
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
