living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I would fuck him just for his dog
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
